Nobody should raise kids without taking a class in game theory

From April 2025

Nobody should become a parent without first passing a graduate-level course in game theory. Yes, I learned a lot about being a dad from my father. But perhaps more from the Wharton professor (whose name I have forgotten) whose game theory course I took back in 1995 of so.

Children are demon game theorists.

For example:
Toddler is in a restaurant with his parents. His thinking: “I want to create as much of a ruckus as I can — that will make me happy. But my dad is embarrassed by my ruckus, and at some point will take me home. I don’t want to go home because I want to create a ruckus here at the restaurant. My dad wants to finish his dinner and continue his conversation with Mommy rather than take me home. So I have to think through: what is the maximum around of ruckus I can create that falls short of the point where dad’s embarrassment doesn’t exceed his desire to finish dinner?”

I, of course tried to flip the table on my kids. One of them would ask me whether he could watch television. I would respond, “But does the television want to be watched by you? If you believe this can you defend your proposition?”

Instead of debating whether I would let Adam or Matthew watch television, we debated whether inanimate objects can have intentionality and what it takes to defend of proposition.”

This is why Matthew says, “You know, sometimes it would be easier to have normal dad.”

Matthew was (and remains) a pretty good strategist himself.

When he was about three or four, he asked me if he could have a cookie. I said no. He was insistent, and made clear he was willing to force the issue.

I replied, “Tell you what. If you read a book end to end.”

He smiled and sped off, and returned smiling and holding the book “No, no. Yes, yes.”

I knew I was beaten. This book, one of our favorites at the time, had left-hand pages with the words “No, no” and showed things a toddler shouldn’t do — and right hand pages with the words “Yes, yes” accompanied with pictures of things a toddler should do.

Matthew read all the pages: “No, no,” “Yes, yes,” and then looked up me defiantly.

I gave him the cookie.